My New Obsession
Jon McLaughlin.
The most amazing singer/pianist ever.
He’s is amazingly talent & utterly gorgeous.
I quote love actually here,
“I love him. & true love lasts forever”
Also (quote from loveactually, altered for jon)
“& everyone loves him because he’s heaven.”
I’m utterly obesessed w/ this artist. & I have listened to all his songs on myspace a million times over & they never get old, mostly because I love them so. Industry. Human. & Beautiful Disaster. I’m getting his CD tomorrrow.
Listen to him. & I swear you will not regret it.
To travel, would be an awful great adventure.
I love this picture set. For some reason I just see myself in every single one of these pictures.
& to me it symbolizes travel, leaving this place, finding yourself.
which is utterly amazing to me.
as i said in the title,
to travel, would be an awful great adventure.
& i mean it to the fullest extent of my heart.
i want to see the world.
wanna know a random fact?!?!?!
I’m obsessed w/ names.
yeah. wtf right?
but I am and I cannot help it.
I looooove finding like the ‘perfect’ name for my future kids/story characters/just for fun.
& currently, I’m going to write down my faves…..
for girlies:
adeline scarlet. alexis noelle. amabel sophia. & catalena ivy.
or addie, lexi, bel, & lena.
& for guyzes:
gabriel issac. william michael. noah benjamin. & matthias declan.
or gabe, liam, noah, & matt.
I love nicknames if you couldn’t tell.
Their my favvveeerrrriiitttteeee.
yeah, I’m weird.
tell me something I didn’t know.
Now unto more important matters.
ITZ MY 16fth birfthday Sepsember 5fth. I’z a gunna be 16s. & I”M ESCITED!
But I need ideas for what I’m going to do.
I have no idea as of yet.
but I’ll look into it.
Brainstorm some & see what I can find.
I saw my godmother chris from new york today.
It was her 40th birthday and we went to a party for her.
I’m so excited. Cuz she said next summer when the house is done she’d love to have me out there. 
Ahhh. that would be ah-mazing.
Its not this summer. But that’s fine. I just have to learn to be patient.
I’ve got babysittin anywayz.
But now I’m out.
La-la-la-later.
~thedreamergirl~
I’m at home on a friday night because…
I choose to be.
It’s not cuz I’m a loser or anything.
I was invited to movies/dates/friend’s houses.
But instead I choose to be home.
Why?
Because I like being here.
I like being alone at my house w/ my dogs on a friday night…
doing absolutely nothing
& just because I can.
I love it.
So I may not here the latest gossip or hit up the party of the year…
I’ll be okay.
Cuz I could care less.
Anyway.
International Studies
could be a bust.
I’m not totally sure yet, But I’m still checking it out.
I’m so confused.
Why can’t I just know what I want to do?
Why are there so many flippin options & I can never decide????
Ahhh.
On a brighter note.
I was babysitting today.
& made $65.00 for 8 and a half hours.
The lady told me she wants to pay me more then I get at my job because
she wants me to nanny full time next summer when I can drive.
Like drive the kids to t-ball & camp etc.
And she’ll pay me like that much daily.
Holy Fricken Crap.
Let me figure that out for a sec.
If I was was to work 5 days a week I’d get $325.00
1 month = $1,300
& in a perfect world if I worked all summer, 5 days a week:
$3,900
Omg.
I think I may know where I’m working next summer.
Well I’m out.
Gonna go chill out w/ my dogs & enjoy the silence of being alone.
Later.
~thedreamergirl~
& i think i may have found it!
my future career.
or actually my future progam i plan to study in college.
at first it was healthcare administration
but the funny thing was….
i hate math & science.
so why would i go into a career that had to do totally w/
math & science?!?!?
so i switched……(changed my mind)….to
international studies
i love pretty much everything about it.
its english. its history. its foreign language.
& it deals w/ the world.
cultures. people. politics. geography.
everything that utterly fascinates me.
& you travel alot, so im completely in love.
i havent announced my new found study program to my parents
because they would probably say its dumb.
but i love it.
its so utterly perfect.
& you can go into like ANYTHING w/ it.
the possibilities are endless.
now all i have to do is choose a college that has it.
i’ve been searching all day.
and ive limited it down to four.
now is decision making.
yeah.
i love international studies.
Otherwiseeee…..i babysat yesterday for 6 of the 7 rugrats.
i found out there expecting a baby boy.
im very happy for them, as they’ve had 5 girls in a row.
its time for a boy.
today i was lazy.
computer.
& chores.
& that’s it.
& while i love typing like this, this is going to be a very long post, so I think I’ll finally end it.
Have a good night all.
~thedreamergirl~
Boredom, Death, & Faith.
& I hate being bored.
I really really do.
Boredom is like the empiphany of badness.
Because when I get bored, I think about all those things at the back of my mind that at any other moment in my life, I wouldn’t be thinking about. Like for example: death.
I’ve always been sort of scared to die.
It’s been this way since I was a little girl. I’m scared that when I do….its over. You don’t have thoughts or feelings anymore….
Everything is just…over.
And that thought is so very depressing.
& then at some moments I think of my grandpa and gosh, I know I’ll see him again someday. There is no doubt in my mind, that when its my time, I will walk again w/ him.
But when I’m bored, I think about these things, and they make me upset.
Like really upset.
& I hate being upset & so I hate thinking about death & I hate being bored.
But I do.
Think about death, I mean, because I get bored.
I wish I had a stronger faith in the lord, so I could be more positive and truthful with myself about the whole situation…..
I haven’t prayed in awhile.
Maybe I’ll bring out the bible & read a bit.
& then I’ll make a list of things i can do to keep myself from being bored.
& then i think i’ll pray to my grandpa. Cuz I miss him & cuz I know deep down, that when I move on, I’ll be w/ him. Forever.
Amen.
Children.
My first day of work at the daycare was today….and it went alright. They don’t have many new children besides an Ahdorable 8 week old, Liddy. Besides that tho, it was just the regulars, but I had an alright time. I honestly don’t think I’ll work for them next summer, but we’ll have to see…..
Well I found out today that the family I babysit for w/ 7 kids is expecting. Yet again. & I am very happy for them! I have been babysitting these kids since not last Jan. but the Jan. before, and I’ve really watched them grow up before my eyes. I keep wondering what this next baby will look like, and if it’ll be a boy or girl or what. They’re kind of like my lil brothers and sisters in a way because I’m around them so much (they have me babysit at least once every two weeks, and oftens times more!) so its kind of neat.
My mom & dad got on this lecture though, about how you can’t provide enough attention or nuturing for a family of like 5or bigger. And I don’t believe that. Not for a second. So I got in this argument w/ my dad about the whole thing, and in the end I got yelled at, but the bigger thing is the fact that I’ve always saw myself having a pretty big family. Not like crazily large like 8 or more. But I’ve always pictured myself with 4-6 kids, and my parents say unless I’m a full stay at home mom my whole life its not possible.
But I think they are ‘ye of little faith’. I have big career dreams too, but for a family, I would put those on hold in an instant, and while I wouldn’t necessarily want to be a full time stay at home mom, working part time would be perfect. I want a big family. I know I’m only 15.
I’ve got a long way to go.
But I LOVE kids, and I’ll see how it works out, but if I can provide for them and I have enough time, I believe 6 kids is just fine.
Ahhh….its just something that irks me.
I definetely think my dad is wrong.
But what’s new?
I always think he is.
Well I’m out.
Ttyl. Night.
~thedreamergirl~
Jamestown Story.
Yesterday was full of tears, knowing death has just been here. Always lost but no forgot, the pain controls my every thought. A new day’s battle has begun. All was lost and nothing won. I can’t wait to see the day when the tears all go away….
Jamestown Story sings that song ^ It’s a really amazing song actually. & It’s one of those songs you can (or at least I can) listen to over and over again. It doesn’t have any real siginificance to me. People have died in my life yes, but none remind of this song, and yet….it makes me sad inside….
Like its a song I would listen to if anything happened to any of my friends or my close family. It’s really beautiful.
Actually I like basically all of there music. Distant and Faded is also ah-mazingly awesome. I suggest you check them out for your self…..
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=4428482
You won’t regret it. I promise.
I’m feeling likeI should be anywhere but the computer right now and yet here I am typing away at the blog I’m slowly falling in love with.
Right now my main stress would be writing. It used to come so easy for me and I used to be really good and I could just write for hours at a time, now I can never think of what to write and I get so distracted so easily. It’s annoying. I wish I could write like I used to when I was younger.
I always wanted to be an author when I was younger and the past like two years where I knew it wasn’t going to happen my mom kept telling me I would become an author someday. I finally had to yell at her, I dont know if I was more mad that she kept telling people when I knew that dream was out the window, or the fact that I wanted it to come true so bad and I was so far
i love my B, pirates, & freedom writers
i went to my friend B’s house yesterday.
& first we went to the new pirates of the carribean movie. which was absolutely amazing. & while i wasnt exactly happy about the ending, we stayed for the credits and i pretty much nearly cried on the last ten second scene, w/ will, elizabeth, and their adorable son. i wish jack was captain of the flying dutchman, but i know everything couldn’t have worked out perfectly. :p although i wish it would.
then we…went back to her house, got some late night snacks and stuck in ’she’s the man’ which we watched til midnight, when we both go tired and went to bed. we woke up at nine-ish, hung out, ate some pancakes, talked, & then watched freedom writers.
which is my new favorite movie. & is absolutely ah-mazing, and i love. w/ a passion. its so real and honest and sooooo sad. both me, b, her mom, and sister cried. cuz it was just so good and so sad. i love it though. and when im in the mood ill give a more detailed review.
after that we talked upstairs w/ her sister for awhile, then we went on a four wheeler ride, had lunch, talked some more, and then we started freedom writers again (haha) and watched for about a half hour until they had to go to graduation parties, to which they invited me, but i felt to weird going to graduations when i didn’t know the people. so yeah.
now im back home. bored again. on the computer.
im so lazy.
ugh.
~thedreamergirl~
what a random dream.
i’m in a classroom at my old school. & one of my good friend’s is next me, and subconciously I’m remembering that my current school ‘like suffered damage’ and so for awhile everyone has to attend different schools, so my parents put me back in my old school, only one of my friends from my new school came w/.
the teacher is teaching, & i know her, she’s actually a teacher at my old school and she’s a friend of my parents, but she seems annoyed at her new students (me & my friend that is) and is being almost hostile and rude to us. i’m really upset for some reason, and then i start to cry, and my friend gives me hug telling me we’ll be back at our old school before we know it & it’ll be fine.
but the teacher suddenly asks everyone to hold on and she leaves. then through the door walks my old daycare provider who i currently work w/ the daycare i work at. i stop crying when i see her and she gives me hug and is talking to me when suddenly she remembers she has to drive my friend who goes to old school to a school far away. & im confused because i thought i’d get to see my old friend since i came back, but she explains my friend switched schools the day before i came back.
suddenly the mean teacher reappears and she has a woman w/ her, she rolls her eyes at me and says, ‘if you need to talk to a counselor here she is.’ the woman is chinese (randomness i know) and she smiles at me and asks if i want to talk. i say no and move closer to my friend who seems as confused as i am.
the woman nods and then asks what seems to be the problem, and i tell her this school and all these people, and then she seems confused and walks away, offering me no helpful advice (haha).
next thing i know my friend and i leave, just walk out of the classroom and suddenly were outside at my current school which is being remodeled, i see two of my friends and i ask them where they’re going to school and then they look at us like we’re retarded and say, ‘this school. our school. we never left.’
i look at them, and then walk into a door in the school to see construction everywhere.
the dream then fades out.
it was random & for some reason very detailed in my mind.
randomness, eh?
~thedreamergirl~
