Life is Beautiful.
by Vega4. Check it out. It’s a fabulous song.
I’m back, at least for today. I’m such a sporadic poster…it’s likely that I’ll dissapear again, but for now, I’m writing.
I’m not sure what to talk about, or what’s worth any words, so I just thought I’d say how beautitful and blessed life has been. I have an amazing family, composed of two loving parents and two caring sisters, plus the brother I acquired last summer. 
I’ve been able to gain a few really good friendships this year and have spent a lot of time doing things I enjoy. I’m starting to not be such a pessimist and have learned that miracles aren’t just people seeing the light when they almost die. Miracles are the sun coming up each morning, the good health my family and I have maintained through out the year, people still finding jobs in this economy, and inquistive children who teach me more about god and love then any adult ever has. I’ve come to realize that life isn’t about wasting your time worrying about yourself and your own issues, but making the time to do things for others.
My sister’s college graduation is tomorrow. I’m so proud of her I can hardly put it into words. Both of my sisters are my inspirations..my heros. They’ve accomplished so much, if only they knew.
Life is Beautiful.
Don’t ever wallow in your self pity, rejoice in another’s success and through that you will find your own happiness.
Yes we can :)
I have never been more proud to be an American then I am today.
I can hardly put into words how inspired I am and how amazed I feel over the events of November 4th’s election.
His speech has played over and over in my head a million times, and each time it does, it brings tears to my eyes.
We have overcame a barrier that has held us back for so long, but not anymore. After November 4th, we, the United States of America, has MADE HISTORY.
I regret that I was too young to have helped it, but I will be forever grateful that I was able to witness it every step of the way.
‘If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.’
I recieved my answer November 4th.
All things are possible
with HOPE.
Should be cleaning my room….
But once again I’m glued to the computer, eagerly pouring over every Breaking Dawn article and review I can get my hands on. Damn wireless internet and laptop computer that can go anywhere.
I am still obsessing over the book. Obviously. Not that its anything new. Whenever I finish a book series that I’ve been anticipated for an extended amount of time I find myself absolutely attached to the book. Rereading it, finding every possible internet link on it, and finding all the interviews with the author. It’ll die down evantually but it really doesn’t help that the movie’s coming out in a couple months…. 
I must say, that is going to be a busy two weeks. First Harry Potter and the Half Blood prince, and then Twilight. And then realistically I’ll see them both twice, so I definetely have those weeks cut out for me. Luckily football season will be over by then so I won’t have to worry about running all over for the games on Friday nights anymore. ;) Unless of course we make it to state….but even then, I think the playoffs are before Harry Potter starts.
Well I don’t have much to say. Just trying to keep up on my blog and remember to post in it more. I have such an awful habit of leaving it for a few months and then coming back. Hopefully since I’m taking online classes and will be forced to be on the internet more this year I’ll remember to update this blog as much as possible.
Love Much.
Breaking Dawn Review **MAJOR SPOILERS**
So I’ve read a lot of negative reviews about the final book in Stephanie Meyer’s amazing saga, and all I can say is GET OVER IT. Sorry if that comes off as a bit callous but honestly, the book is AMAZING, and the ONLY reason I’m upset, or anyone should be upset, is because it’s actually over. :’(
I borrowed the book from a friend the night before last, and after a speedy drive home, I eagerly began. The book was ANYTHING but predictable in my opinion, which is evident in the number of texts I sent my friends, most that went along the lines of, ‘OMFG. HOW? WTF? WHO? OMG?!!!!’
I NEVER saw the pregnancy coming. I mean NEVER. Edward was a vampire….so HOW could it happen? But as soon as it did, I was hooked. I mean before that part I could still grab some food if I was hungry or use the restroom, but when I got there, I literally COULD NOT set the book down.
I personally LOVED when they did Jacob’s POV. I know everyone is all, ‘we don’t care what Jacob had to say’, and honestly I thought that at first when my friend told me about it, but upon reading it I realized that it was necessary for the book to work. Using Bella’s POV would have given us a VERY biased opinion on the whole situation. She would have just thought how much she loved the child, and since she was so out of it would hardly of noticed everyone else’s disgust or fear towards it. Jacob coming in as in outsider to access the situation and make a note on how everyone felt about it really added something to the book, or at least for me. I also found myself liking Jacob more and more as I could finally see into his head. It made me realize how very important he was. (It probably also helped that Edward HAD gotten the girl, and Jacob was no longer pining over her….)
The pregnancy part was EXTREMELY eerie for me. I mean, I just have to ask, was I the only person thinking that baby was going to come out looking like the little demon baby off of Dawn of the Dead??? But I found myself realizing that this ALSO really added to everything. Not knowing if this baby was going to kill Bella (I know, I know…there was still too much left. But it crossed my mind for a little while there!) or if it was going to come out evil and masacre the whole lot of them, or if it was going to simply come out like a normal human child. But wow, the whole pregnancy scene. Not complaining, but that definetely DID NOT have the same atmsphere or feeling of the rest of the books. I mean, the maturity level in the book must have gone up like 5 years right there, or maybe it was just me and my terribly weak stomach. Either way, wow. Vivid, but I guess it got the point across and kept me reading…so it worked.
Now, the BIGGEST complaint I have read from all the reviews would simply have to be how PERFECT Bella was when she woke up, how DIFFERENT she was, etc. & etc. And I all I can say is DUHHHHHHH! She is a vampire now!!!! She is going to be different, she’s going to act different, she is going to be much better at things then she was before, but it wasn’t as if the character changed completely. As I read in another review, and I will add now, she STILL didn’t have a great fashion sense, she STILL disliked the fast cars, she STILL cared for the well being of everyone and worried for their safety…etc. It was STILL Bella, just with better coordination and a whole new appetite.
My favorite part in the whole book had to be when she woke up for the first time. The combination of going hunting with Edward, of seeing Renesme for the first time, and of almost killing Jacob [literally died laughing there] was PERFECT. I loved how well things worked out after all the trials and suffering of everyone from the start of the book. I also LOVED the first night in their house and the morning after. Ohhh Emmet.
The rest of the book progressed well, keeping me on the edge of my seating and turning page after page to reach the conclusion. I honestly thought they were going to fight the Volturi and found myself actually getting excited and anxious for it…..but then Alice saved the day. Which prevented all the tears I would have shed for any loss of life.
The ending was ideal, which I don’t think most people like. I honestly believe most people like a little bit of chaos and a few casualities, but those are the same people who would have whined and complained about who Stephanie Meyer would have killed off, so whatever. I, on the otherhand, LOVE happy, perfect endings. Which is probably why I cried, regardless of the fact that no one had died…..
The last few pages ended PERFECTLY. Everything I had hoped for their family came true.They would all live happily ever after…FOREVER.
So I think it all boils down to the type of person you are. If you love the whole happy perfect endings that leave you breathless and wishing that this was your life….then this book will far exceed your expectations. But if your the type of person she relishes in chaos and destruction and needs a few deaths to make the book seem real, then maybe you should go read corny horror novels based off the even cheesier movies where everyone’s life ends horribly.
I on the otherhand am much more of an optimist. I’ll stick to my loving, caring, vegetarian vampires thank you very much.
Courage is…
When you’re afraid but you keep on moving anyway.
Such an honest piece of wisdom I’ve learned from an amazing song. Because that truly is the heart of courage; continuing your journey no matter how scared you are for what comes next. It’s being completely terrified to go into the unknown, and yet you go ahead anyway.
It’s the summer before my junior year and I’m already bored out of my mind.
I know I should be soaking up the sun and spending time with friends, but I work three jobs that keep me busy at least five days a week, and on my two days off I usually spend mowing or catching up on sleep. I’m paler then a ghost, which is to be expected as I live in the Northern part of the US, but still, I used to be able to be a light shade of brown. It’s pretty pathetic, but I’m completely looking forward to school starting. Actually, even my online classes that start midway through August will be a nice repreive from this constant drone of summer.
One exciting fact is that I’m going to my sister’s apartment tomorrow, and we’ll be going to not only the Dark Knight, but on numerous shopping trips over the three days that I’m there. It should be fun, since I need some new clothes and accessories, but as soon as I get back it’s back to work probably for the next three days straight.
Ugh. This summer couldn’t be over fast enough.
writing; is everything.
My parents asked to see what I write today. It was really surprising because my parents are not the type of people to do that. They don’t get into my face or read over my shoulder or anything. They know I’m a good kid, so they let me have my space. I got really upset when my dad asked. I asked him why it was his buisness, and trust me, you just don’t say that to my father.
He got mad, and explained that everything I do in life is his business and if I plan to hide anything from him, while I don’t need to write anymore. The whole argument was really unnecessary. On my part and on his. I guess I shouldn’t have gotten so upset, but then again, they should just trust me when I say I’m not writing anything bad or weird or anything. I’m just writing.
Writing is my outlet. It’s simply, my thing. I’ve done for as long as I can remember. I mean, I can remember being like four and five years old and I would illustrate these books and then write what was happening in each scene. I asked my mom once if I could be a writer. She told me if I wanted to, if I really wanted it, I could.
From that point on, writing became my everything. I wrote for fun, I wrote for school, I wrote poems, essays, short stories, novels, everything. I mostly loved to write stories. Novels in a sense but since I was never great at finishing them, basically stories. I loved when I got an idea, and it would stick, and everything I did all day that idea would linger in my mind until I could put it down on paper and slowly the idea would shape into a plot, and then an intense book.
I attempted to put my writing into a contest once. I lost. And I never did it again. Maybe, I’d hoped my writing was great and then when I got the rejection letter I realized it wasn’t. Or maybe I’d always known it wasn’t going to go very far and I’d just hoped. I really don’t know, but after that, I stopped writing. I never thought about it before, but subconciously I lost hope in myself. In the one thing I loved to do, I lost my passion for it.
And now I don’t do half as much as I used to. I look back at things I wrote and I’m critical and upset at how anyone would lie to me and tell me that these things were actually good. That I actually had a chance at making a statement and being unique. But regardless of how much I hate my writing, I still write. I write because its my thing, its been my thing, and I think there will always be a part of me that will want to write.
Back to my main point….I don’t let others read my writing. I had one friend, right before I submitted my story into the contest that I allowed to read my writing, and she told me it was amazing. I felt so proud that someone liked it as much as I did. I thought maybe I did have a chance, but since she was the only person I’d ever shown it to, I was still wary.
To this day that one friend is the only person I’ve shown my writing to. It’s mostly due to the fact that I believe my writing is personal. It’s like an extension of myself on paper, and opening up and letting others read it….well let’s just say the thought makes me uncomfortable, scared in a sense. I’m scared that when my parents read it, they won’t like it, or else they’ll overanalyze it and wonder if the problems in the character’s life are my own. I also don’t like showing people my writing until it’s done.
I’m kind of obsessive about it, I know. But showing people my writing is not something I plan to do anytime soon. I’m a really good teenager, honestly, I am. I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex. Anything. I’m just plain good. Writing though, is like my ‘troublesome side’. It’s not like I write about anything bad, it’s more the ONE thing that I keep from everyone. It’s like my not-so-dirty little secret. But it is a secret.
It’s my secret. Like teenagers who do drugs without their parents knowledge. That’s what my writing is for me. It’s my drug. Maybe someday I’ll be brave enough to share it with the world, someday it’ll be a more open and honest side of me. But for now, for now its my secret. Everyone may know I do it, but no one gets to see.
My writing; its my Secret, my Drug, my Everything.
Back to school.
It was most definitely a rotten day.
Mostly because as I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm, I realized I was no longer on break and instead forced to return to school. 
My break had been so relaxing. I was honestly dreading the return to school.
I spent most of the first weekend and christmas with family, eating too much food, exchanging gifts, watching cheesy christmas movies, and playing in the snow. The rest of the week I was lazy in the mornings and in the afternoon I helped my dad in the shop as I tried to work off my ‘florida’ debt.
This past weekend my sister came home! Her and her fiance stayed from Friday night to Tuesday afternoon, and we spent most of our times playing board & card games, a personal family favorite, and just talking. On Sunday we actually went shopping and my sister found her wedding dress, and me and my other sister found our bridesmaid dresses. I’m really excited for the wedding even if it is going to be complete chaos.
Monday was New Years Eve, and just like every new years I invite some girls over for some ’slumber party’ type fun. I’m a goody-goody, through and through, and I’m really not that impressed with drinking, at all. So me and my friends usually just hang out have like a ‘girls’ night. Except two of my friends had to be retarded and came but ditched me for a party where they both got drunk and ended up in the ditch. They weren’t hurt, but they were wasted and retarded. It’s bad enough that they ditched me for drinking, and then was rude to my family when my parents asked where they were going, but then they go crash their car and get wasted. wow. winners.
My break was awesome, besides that.
I guess I’m just really not impressed with drinking right now. I don’t drink, ever, and I don’t plan to for a really long time, because I’ve seen the things it does to my friends, what can happen, and the results of it, and I just don’t think it’s something I want to do. I don’t care if my friends do it, if their responsible about it, but I guess it’s hard when your from a small town and EVERYONE does it and your just one of the rare few who makes the decision not to.
I still have alot of friends and I get along with everyone, but I know it’ll be a matter of time before I’m the ONLY one not getting into that stuff, and that’s when it’s going to suck.
Which is why I’m kind of considering Post Seconday Option right now. Just because I don’t believe the whole ‘high school scene’ is for me. I really don’t know, and it’s just so up in the air right now, but it’s definitley on my mind.
So back to school…..the day was long. The clocks were going backwards and I had to deal with a horrible teacher that I really can’t stand. Next year I’ll be able to take an online course and avoid her, but for the rest of the year I have to endure her and her antics. For example: she relates EVERYTHING as if we need it carefully explained to us like were five. I hate when people talk down to me, and she does it 24/ freakin 7.
Soooo I’m getting tired of typing and besides my break and my first day back, I don’t have much else to say. Hope everyones holidays were swell & hopefully [key word] I remember to write soon.
Lots of Love,
~thedreamergirl~
by the way. thanks landon for reminding me to write some more.
Ahhhhh. Sorryyyy….
It’s taken me forever to write. Yet again. Apologizes! I will try to buckle down & get at least a weekly update if not more then that!!! I really do like blogging, its just alot of work, & I get so involved with everything I forget.
Well, anyway.
Today was Thanksgiving.
& it was boring. I know the holidays are supposed to be amazing, wonderful, and heart warming, but its none of the above. Maybe it’s because this is the first thanksgiving ever that my sister wasn’t here…..or maybe it was just not a good year. I’m not really sure. But it was pretty sucky.
There was no chaos or crazy fun like their usually is around the holidays. It was just simple, and boring. And most of the day I spent writing, reading, or watching the macys thanksgiving day parade. 
I did ponder a bit about what I was thankful for though……
My family. my amazing, truly wonderful family. my crazy parents. & my awesome sisters. I’m so thankful for each and every one of them.
Also my friends. My off the wall, tons of fun, keep me crazy and sane all at the same time, friends. Without them I’d honestly be the most boring person in the world. :p
I’m also thankful for everything I have in my life. And how lucky I am to have such a beautiful house over my head, people who care for me, decent quality clothing on my back, and most importantly, the option to become whoever I want to.
It was actually a few days ago when I was talking to a friend that really made me realize how important that last thing is. She made the comment that this was ‘as good as it was going to get’. And I told her she shouldn’t say that, the future can get better and brighter if you work towards it. And then she said, “that’s what makes us different. you have the option and the resources to look to the future and know its bright. i don’t.”
And although I disagreed with her and we argued for a bit afterward, it really opened my eyes to how lucky I am, and how thankful i should be.
Which is why even though this thanksgiving was boring and uneventful……
if anything I realized how much I have to get thanks for. Which I think is a pretty great thing.
Besides my lovely thanksgiving…….I have one very exciting piece of news.
My sister got engaged!!!! I was so excited when she told me and my parents on speaker phone back in October I started screaming. Haha. I am very happy for her though, she’s been with this guy for ages and it was only a matter of time, but hearing it was awesome.
Their getting married June 28th and she has been quite busy planning every teeny-tiny detail. I’m very excited to be in my first ever wedding espiecally when it happens to be for my beautiful sister! Even more exciting (well not necessairly more, just sooner excitement!), she & her fiance are coming home for christmas!!! Their flying in the 21st and flying out the 25th. It’ll have been nearly seven months since I last saw her.
& That’s about all the exciting news I have.
Oooooh wait.
Grades for first quarter came in. Straight A’s down the board. 4.0 GPA.
Definetley a positive as I’m really starting to buckle down and search for a college.
Well I can’t think of much else.
Lots of Love.
~thedreamergirl~
ps. i noticed its been exactly one month since my last entry. ha. interesting. i’ll try to make my next entry much sooner!
wow.
its been quite the pause since i’ve been on here.
& there have been quite a few changes. hmmmm…where to begin?
Well I’m a sophomore now. Class of 2010!
Heck Yeah.
I turned 16 in September & I got my license the day after.
Driving really is one of the most AH-MAZING feelings in the world.
I love being able to control where I go, when I get there, & who I take w/ me…..
(even though, technically, im not allowed to have friends in my car. )
I also ran cross country this year.
& let me tell you. If you want a challenging sport that sends you over the edge and pushes you to your limits.
Join.
It’s hard. & It’s a lot of work.
But I have alot of fun w/ it & of course my friends, espiecally Ms. Mary Lou! *Love you*
Besides cross country & driving.
I have a boyfriend.
Finally.
His name is Austin.
& he is awesome.
Sweet. Cute. & Caring.
He makes me smile when no one else can.
The only problem with him is the fact that I promised myself I would NEVER fall head over heels for a guy.
And here I am, only 16, and I’m falling hard.
Crap.
I’m also still on the that life long quest it seems, to discover what I plan to do w/ the rest of my life.
What will I be?
Where will I live?
Where will I go to school?
etc. etc.
i like being able to plan things.
& i hate not knowing what the future holds.
well i guess its more of a love/hate relationship.
its amazing to wait and wonder.
but its awful not knowing.
you know?
i really wish their was a way, someone could just follow you for awhile, look you up and down, and simply say, ‘you should be a (insert career here)’
this would prevent this horrible time spent wasting away on my computer trying to discover what im truly meant to be.
im terrified to pick the wrong thing!!!!
& im hoping someday soon, ill either get a sign or ill just know.
hopefully.
here’s my update.
& i plan to return and give you more soon.
Lots of Love,
~thedreamergirl~
Harry Potter.
This post contains SPOILERS. You’ve been warned.
Was in short probably the most amazing book I’ve ever read.
& I mean that to the fullest extent of my heart.
I’ve followed this book series since the age of 9, when in third grade, our teacher began reader The Sorcerers Stone to us, intrigued by the book I went home and found we owned the first three. My parents had bought them for my older sisters who’d reluctantly read them and threw them off to the side, saying I wouldn’t like them and they were to hard for me to understand.
But when I grabbed that first Harry Potter book and sat down to read it, finishing it before my 3rd grade teacher had barely reached half way through the book, I was left wanting more. And so I read the new two, and I read them again, and again, and again. Now I’m not the kid you hear about who never read and then found the harry potter books so decided to, no I’d always read, and the Harry Potter books were just another reason for me to.
My friends thought I was silly, reading the books over, and over, and over for nearly two years. But I got the posters, the bookmarks, the calendars, if it had Harry Potter in the name, I owned it. I remember for christmas either my 3rd or 4th grade year, all I asked for was the 4th harry potter book and I opened all the presents and I got loads of cool toys and things to play with, but all i wanted was that book. I had nearly finished feeling rather dissapointed when there, the very last gift was a box. I opened it, thinking it seemed just to big, but inside that box, was none other then my book. & i read that book all day and for the next few days, my toys could wait, i had the 4th harry potter book.
And then there was a 3 year pause between books. I never really lost interest, but slowly my obsession died away, my posters and collectibles were given to a thrift store or to younger children, and I stopped obsessively reading the books. Then the 5th one came out, I remember my parents got it that weekend, I devoured it in 2 days and loved it. But I believe it was the first time I’d ever cried over a book.
The sixth one then came out two years later, but because of a mistake w/ my sister taking it w/ her up to her college, I was forced to wait nearly three weeks and the ending was ruined for me only a few days before I was due to get it. I believe the magic for me didn’t really happen in the 6th book, which is probably why it’s one of my least favorite of the series.
And then it was the 7th book. This summer it was due to come out, and I’d long lost that obsession I had nearly 6 years ago. But I still loved the books, don’t get me wrong. I believe it was seeing the 5th movie. The most intense. The darkest and the thickest plot that slowly put me back into my obsession. I reread nearly all the books. I hadn’t done this in years. But I did all in preperation of the final book.
And then I got it. Midnight at a Borders. I was taken by a friend. & then I started to read. And while reading this book, I found what I had lost so long ago. My passion for why I loved these books so much. J.K. Rowling is probably the most talented woman I’d ever heard of. The Harry Potter books are nothing less then Magical. And I believe that without a doubt.
I finished the final book in less then 48 hours. And when I finished, it took me another 20 minutes to stop crying, just to catch my breath. The series was over. This wonderful series that I’d follow since I was a young girl in elemantary school, the series that had followed me to high school, and even captured the attention of some of the friends who’d teased me so when I was a little girl.
I don’t think they’ll ever be another series like Harry Potter. I don’t think another series will EVER come close. Finishing that book, knowing it was over, was like a best friend dying. Through everything I’d gone through, it’d always been there in my bookcase waiting to be read. It never faltered to bring a smile to my face or tears to my eyes. Harry, Ron, & Hermione were more then book characters, they were who I saw in the people all around me.
The lessons I learned from these books will stay with me forever….no one is perfect, friendship is the greatest thing you can have, death is not something to fear, & love really is the greatest power of all.
The Deathly Hallows was the end to a phenomenon of our time. A phenomenon which I hope to carry unto my kids, so they can to find and discover and the magic of Harry Potter and his friends.
yyea. i’m obsessed. but that’s okay. cuz i’ve got harry potter and all is well :)
